We brought Ashley to the airport this morning to meet with her case worker and the other lady that was traveling with them. Her case worker was a little stressed and just wanted to get going. I helped her load Ashley's clothes into the extra suitcases that they brought and then went with them up to the check in counter. I said my goodbyes.
Of course I cried, and Ashley just smiled her sweet little smile and giggled at me. She was excited by all the stuff going on around her. My only saving grace was that I knew that she didn't even realize what was going on. She'll go back to her previous foster home and it will be just like before for her. I was wrong when I had badmouthed them about keeping her in her wheelchair all the time. I honestly think that for her own safety she should probably be in it. She doesn't feel pain and flails around, hitting herself on everything and everyone. She also doesn't see well and that makes for more injuries. She hated being in her wheelchair here because the other kids were free to play and she wasn't. In her foster home there are 12 kids in wheelchairs so she's just like everyone else. They also have 6 adults there to care for them and they all adore Ashley because she's the youngest.
My friend Yvonne and her husband, the ones that adopted Ashley's brother Joshua, are going to try and see if they can have her come to their house for a weekend visit or two. They want to see how she does and if adopting her is something they can do. Joshua has an aid that comes and helps them out, and since they are also in Texas, they will be able to get one for Ashley. I really hope they can swing it but it's definitely a tough decision to make.
I've been so overwhelmed and stressed out since she got here from trying to decide how to make it work that I've neglected my house. I have been cleaning since I got home this morning. I think my way of dealing with defeat is to accomplish something I can be proud of. I got my entire bedroom uncluttered and cleaned. I moved the piano to a place where I can use it to start piano lessons with the kids again. I got the kids' beds washed and remade. I vacuumed and swept the whole main floor and had the kids organize their toys. Now I'm waiting for Desperate Housewives to come on so I can sit and fold my laundry and get lost in it :o)